well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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