Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize