Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize