you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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