So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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