like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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