I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
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Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
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In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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