These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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