I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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