I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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