Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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