There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize