I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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