i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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