I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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