They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize