my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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