Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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