I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize