remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
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Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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