What did we do last night that was yellow?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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