Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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