Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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