do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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