What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He had one of those small greek statue penises
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize