we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize