oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize