I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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