Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize