I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize