All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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