sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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