i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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