I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
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I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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