Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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