so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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