just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
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Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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