Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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