So drunk its hurt
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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