Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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