i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize