Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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