cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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