If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize