you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize