Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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