Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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