So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
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i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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