Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize