You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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